i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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