I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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