I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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