what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
