i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
