bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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