There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
