hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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