on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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