Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
