big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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