hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
