My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
