I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
