i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
