is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
