ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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