So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
