WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
