she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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