His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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