Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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