Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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