I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
