saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
