spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
