It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
