how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
