So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
