Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
