I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
