i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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