carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
