She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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