I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
