They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
