Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
