it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
