Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
