now i know why i became what i already was.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
