I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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