Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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