bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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