He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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