dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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