I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
