Only a mothe r could love this liver
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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