I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
