Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
