dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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