my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
