Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
