I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
